Have you ever been in the process of pursuing projects and plans that God has put on your heart only to sense that He wants you to wait?
Those moments can be confusing and even disappointing, right?
Maybe it’s a business you want to launch, a ministry that God’s put on your heart, the degree you’re determined to finish by a certain date or even a wedding that you’re planning…
There are moments in our life when we set out on a path by our own will and determination and then realize, “Uh oh, something isn’t right here.” Or maybe you need to hit pause because unavoidable circumstances arise…other times you hear clearly from the Lord with what He wants you to do and you trust God and obey…only to find later it seems He changed His mind or is asking you to hold off, wait, focus on other things or give you a new assignment entirely.
These moments can create a tension between our soul (mind, will and emotions) and our spirit. Sometimes it causes us to question our own sanity. Sometimes it even makes us question God!
I had this happen to me recently.
At the beginning of 2019, I felt God calling me to write my first book, Breaking and Remaking. I have been clear that I’m meant to publish books, but in all honesty, I’ve been scared and delaying it. When I felt God urging me to start it, I trusted God and obeyed. For a few weeks straight, I would write every day. I was motivated and the content flowed easily. But then I lost my drive. I didn’t know why but I gave myself permission and time to prayerfully sort it out. The answers never came…it was just at a stand-still.
After months I finally got revelation.
God reminded me of an encounter I had with Him a few years ago when I was about to get married. He and I had this really incredible moment where I felt Him telling me that the world will not know me as “Heather Ferroni.” I was going to be married and my name was going to change. It was a wild thought because all I’ve ever known myself to be is Heather Ferroni.
[Check out the full explanation of this story in HeatherFerroni.com…REALLY?!]
When the Lord spoke clearly that I needed to end the relationship immediately, I trusted God and obeyed. Yet it was still shocking and it took awhile for my heart to heal and come to terms with life continuing on as I’ve always known it.
In the healing season one night, I felt the Lord say, "Heather, I am going to write a lot through you. But you are not authorized to produce it until I say it's time."
I trusted God and obeyed. For about a year I wrote about 100 pieces of work, many of which are still sitting unpublished in my Google Drive.
I say all that to say…here I am again…in that familiar tension of obeying and trusting God, waiting on His permission to publish Breaking and Remaking.
My encouragement to you:
If you’re currently experiencing that same tension as you’re sensing God telling you “No” or “Not now” and your soul and spirit are wrestling with that... Please take it from me, trust God and obey…even when it doesn’t make sense. Don’t feel the pressure of having to push, persist or pursue things in your own strength, in your own terms or on your own timeline. Wait on His permission. His timing is perfect. He’s not holding out on you. You don’t know what you don’t know…abiding in Him is best. Because as Jesus shared in John 15:4, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (NKJV). In fact, He said “abide” 10 times in just 10 verses! There is safety and security under His Lordship. The risk (of doing it on your own) isn’t worth the reward (when God anoints it). I know it may not make sense…but His thoughts are not like our thoughts, His ways are above our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).