Happy New Year!
I hope you are as excited and expectant as I am for all that God has in store for 2018! Upon reflection of where I've been, where I am and where I'm going, I came across an old blog post I wrote 4 years ago that I felt I needed to share with someone today. I have a strong sense that there is a lovely soul out there that is recovering from the wounding of a heartbreak that could benefit from reading this message.
As I sat in the sauna (aka my "Prayer Box") at the gym one evening deeply focused in prayer, the stirring in my soul stopped completely which enabled me to hear the clear whisper of God's voice! I have still been wrestling with Him to find the answers to the questions, "Why did we break up? Why can't he see the errors of his thinking? Why is he lying to himself and others? Why doesn't he want me like he said he did?"
Here is our conversation:
God: "Heather, why can't you see that it's BECAUSE I love you that I have removed him from your life? Don't you remember praying to me and asking me to intervene if the relationship was against my will? I tried telling you many times. You didn't want to listen. But I was still there, loving you right through your disobedience. Heather, stop beating yourself up. Stop mourning the loss. Focus instead on MY will. I'm not upset with you for nagging me over this because I understand that you don't know what you DON'T know. You can't see what I have in store for you. But trust ME, I have heard your prayers. I know the desires in your heart. Believe in me and FOLLOW me and I will lead you to a greater blessing than you can even fathom. I'm working for ya, girl. I have my hand of protection over you and will continue to intervene in big ways if you begin to embark on a relationship that will harm you."
Me: "But God, I loved him with my WHOLE heart."
God: "That was exactly the problem. There was no room for Me anymore. You began to call him your 'anchor,' don't you remember? I am your TRUE anchor, Heather. Your relationship together was not honoring Me and you weren't leading each other to come to know Me better. He was a distraction, Heather...and you tried to play My role of God in his life. That wasn't your place."
Me: "God, why does it seem like all the good in me is overlooked by so many? In fact, it seems as though (especially lately) that my good deeds that have the purest intentions are somehow completely flipped around on me and I'm under attack with harsh accusations and critical judgments? What the heck is up with that?!"
God: "Like I said, I'm protecting you, Heather. The flaming arrows that you are experiencing will not harm you if you continue to turn your heart and mind toward me. The closer you get to me, the harder the enemy will try to deceive you and hunt you down. He's going to use people in your life that are far from Me to try to pull you down with them. TRUST in Me. Place your identity in ME, stop being so concerned with what other people think and say about you. That's not your burden to bear. Let Me worry about them."
WOW. WOW. WOW.
GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!
I cannot even tell you how rested and peaceful I have felt ever since our talk in the sauna that night!
Overflowing with gratitude for His love, grace and protection!!!
The harsh life lessons that God allowed me to go through in 2013 such as hardship, loss, deceit, false friends, unmet hopes and brokenness are received and behind me. I come to you now as a conqueror and a warrior woman in training! God truly carried me through the darkest moments by shining His Heavenly light in my soul. Although I had chosen a sinfilled, windy road and am still experiencing some pains associated with living such a life, the reality is, God has chosen ME and has been faithful and loving and provided JUST the amount of strength I needed to get through to the next day!
2018 is going to be the best year YET! Believe it. Receive it. In Jesus' name!
On January 1, 2014 I got this tattoo to represent the wonderful reminder of:
- Hebrews 6:19, "We have this hope as an ANCHOR for the soul, firm and secure."
- As well as 1 Corinthians 13:13, "Three things will always remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."